Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Scheduling...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/autismfamily/sentencestrips.jpg
How is my new schedule going? Not well. I crave the structure of a schedule, and it's just not happening. Currently, we are living with my parents while in transition to a new home. Keeping things structured around here is nearly impossible. My husband has such a random work schedule, and my dad doesn't get home from work at the same time every day, and my little sister is in college, so she's very unpredictable. Growing up we never went to bed at the same time every night and we never woke up at the same time in the morning. I know this drove my mom crazy and she tried to set rules for us that we just rolled our eyes at. There were five of us, so that was five different schedules she had to work with. Not easy. I only have two kids, and they are very close in age, so it shouldn't be too difficult to put them on a schedule. It shouldn't, but it is. Boo.
When we lived in our own place, I had the day set up in a series of routines. In his more serious stages of autism, Cory thrived on predictability. Anything out of the ordinary threw him into a funk that usually resulted in uncontrollable tantrums. We had to keep everything familiar and structured. I was terrified whenever we had to try something new. As Cory started to improve, we were able to be more flexible, but for a couple months there, we didn't really go anywhere. I was too afraid of how Cory would react and how people would react to him.
We had a morning routine, wake up, breakfast, watch Sesame Street (this was the only TV he was allowed all day) while I got ready for the day, then he would get dressed, and we would play or go somewhere until our lunch routine. We had an afternoon routine, dinner routine, and a bedtime routine. I had a chart with pictures that would show him what we were doing "NOW" and "THEN". He didn't really care about the chart once we got the routine down. We still have these routines, but they are more sporadic and unpredictable which is why I want a schedule!
I feel that dinner is a very important time for structure. It is the best opportunity to meet together as a family. I would love to have dinner at the same time every day, but in this house, it's horribly difficult.
My kids are usually starving by 5:00PM. My dad doesn't get home until 6:30, and who knows when my husband will grace us with his presence. Stupid sick people coming in at the end of the day... stupids. Naw, I just wish my husband had a little consistency in his schedule.
Anyway, dinner at our house usually goes from 5:00-7:30. I have to feed my kids around 5:00 or the world will end, but I want to eat with my husband, and he doesn't get home until late. Boo. No win.
Suggestions anyone?

Saturday, April 11, 2009

What Really Works...


I have vented quite a bit on here already, so I guess I should write something positive! Matt and I have been trying a new discipline technique that Cory's teacher told us about. I get so sick of telling Cory to do things over and over with no results. I've tried bribes, I've tried threats, I've tried counting (i.e. If I get to ten, you're in trouble! ONE... TWO...), I've even tried--I'm ashamed to admit--spanking. Boo. I never thought I would be the mom who spanks, but I have resorted to it when Cory has put his own life or someone else's in danger. So, it's only been a handful of times, but that's a handful too many. I hate it. Never again!

The method is this:

First you ask your child to do something by saying "please". For example, "Please go get your shoes."
If there is no response or a negative response, say, " You NEED to go get your shoes."
Then if he refuses, you physically make him do it.
So, you would stand him up and walk him to his shoes and make him pick them up and take them back to where you were.
Kids hate this. They hate to be physically forced to do something. It's annoying to try to make them do it, but it works.

After three days of trying this, I haven't lost my temper at Cory, and I just have to ask him to do something once. I love it! Give it a try. Tell me if it works for your kid!