The Guilt Trip...

As my husband is racing out the door to take his motorcycle to the track, I say, "Gee, I wish I could just take off anytime I wanted to and do something fun."
He stops in his tracks.
"Honey, you get to..." he trails off.
I wanted to say,"When do I get to? Seriously, name a time?"
Instead I say, "You go and have fun, but don't complain to me if I want to just take off sometime."
"That's not fair. I let you go out."
LET ME?!! He's just digging himself into a hole now. I thought parenthood was about teamwork, right?
I'm not really trying to make him feel guilty, I just want him to understand.
How often do I get to just stop at the gas station on a whim and go inside and get myself the super-sized Diet Coke that I am craving without having to unbuckle two young kids and take them kicking and screaming inside because Social Services will take them away from me if I don't. Then I'd have to buy candy and drinks for them because it's not fair that mommy gets a drink and they don't. Then a buck turns into five dollars! I can't afford it! I have the same problem at a drive-thru. I can't win.
Yeah, I've given this a lot of thought.
Being a mom comes with a little cage that you get locked in to with little cell mates that are totally dependant on you. So many times I need to just run somewhere and do something but I put it off because I can't muster up the energy to find two extra pairs of shoes, wrestle with surprisingly strong little legs to put the shoes on, change two diapers, remember to pack two more in my bag, etc. Just to unload them from the car and wrestle with them while I do one quick little errand that turns into a hair-pulling mess.
So, yes, sometimes I feel trapped. My cell mates are delightful for the most part, and I enjoy my little cage (I wouldn't have it any other way), but the lack of freedom tends to get to me. I don't even get to use the bathroom in private!
Thus, I sigh, "I wish I could take off any time I want to and do something fun."

Why IS it so HARD?!

In the spirit of a recent post by my friend Jennie, I ask the same question: why is it so hard to lose weight? I have been trying for months now to lose some poundage ever since I moved back home from med school. Once we were settled, and Cory was doing well in school, I figured it was time to take care of myself again. So, I enrolled in boot camp. After two sessions, I was down almost two pant sizes and in the best shape I've been in since having kids.
Well, my knees rebelled on me, and I had a hard time running anymore, and then the holidays came. Bleh. So, my New Year's resolution to get back on track hit, and so did Kevin's terrible twos. No longer wanting to go the child care at the gym, what was I to do? So, on to my parent's rickety old treadmill with a broken console and so loud you can't even hear your iPod through the head phones. Well, I've been doing it. Trying to diet as well, which is really hard living in my mom's house surrounded by all her yummy food. I've lost only 10 pounds since the new year, and that's only if I weigh myself first thing in the morning. Bleh. Three months and 10 pounds?! Not cool. My clothes still fit me which makes me so discouraged. All around me, my friends are shrinking. I have one friend who recently lost 115 pounds! She looks awesome! My sis-in-law just got the best time for a woman in the 5K she ran, and she looks amazing. I have several others who are sharing their weightloss triumphs with me. I'm so jealous. So, what's wrong with me? I'm hungry all the time, running/walking three miles a day and lifting weights killing myself like I did in bootcamp. My mom says that I've grown into my "womanly physic". Whatever. Please tell me I'm not doomed to look like this for the rest of my life?!!

The Terrible Twos

My Kevin turned two a week ago. Born to be my comfort in life, Kevin has always been so mellow and delightful. He rarely cried as a baby, ate like a pig, and slept like a hibernating bear. He was the poster child for perfect babies... until now.
I don't know what happened, but my Kevin has turned a 180. He no longer sleeps on schedule, or at all for that matter. He whines about eating, he cries over everything, and he is such a grouch! He's like me when I'm PMSing. I have a little shadow that constantly pulls down my already-hard-enough-to-keep-up pants. I'm weighed down by an extra 30lbs that I am not strong enough to carry all the time.
This lack of sleep and all the tantrums have put me in a foul mood. I've decided that my kids need more structure. I sent out an email to most of my girlfriends with kids to find out what works for them. The best response came from my friend Val who has a whole blog devoted to scheduling her kids. I think that kids should be on a schedule. Structure is very important to kids, but I don't think it should be a rigid regimen. I like Val's blog because the schedules offer structure along with flexibility. I'm planning on implementing the following schedule:
7:00AM Wake up work out and shower
8:00AM Wake the kids of they aren't up already. Have breakfast and get dressed.
9:00AM School/TV time (Cory has school two days a week) I finish getting ready for the day and do my chores. Yes, I have chores for myself.
10:00AM Independent play time. (The kids play in either their room or the family room by themselves)
11:30AM Pick Cory up from school/Lunch preparation, lunch time, clean up
12:30PM Sibling play time (The kids play together outside or in their room.)/ Run errands
2:00PM Quiet time (Read stories, attempt to put Kevin down for a nap, or watch a movie)
4:00PM Cory's work time(Cory has worksheets or educational computer games. Kevin likes to watch or color)
5:00PM Dinner Prep, Dinner, Clean Up
7:00PM Bath time, pajamas, brush teeth, say prayers, read books
8:00PM I put Kevin to bed, Matt puts Cory to bed.
FREE FOR ME!
10:30PM Go to sleep!

Think I can stick with this? I dunno, but I'm gonna try for sanity sake.